Does your husband come from a family where he learned these spending habits? I can relate, because I was like that myself and ended up in major credit card debt. What was worse is I was married at the time to a man who was nearly as bad as I was with spending and had horrible money management skills, and he was a CPA. It was a nightmare.
Needless to say that marriage did not last very long.
When I met my second husband, he opened my eyes and point blank told me that if I did not get my financial life in order and start right away, there was no reason for us to continue a relationship. I’ve learned a lot and worked my way out of debt all on my own. It seems to be this way in a lot of marriages, where one person is a financial disaster and the other is constantly trying to keep up with all the bills. It seems as if the other person, only cares about themselves.
In a way -it’s very selfish. Have you both considered possibly going to some kind of counseling about the problem, because I’m sure it causes other issues in your marriage. If you’re better with managing money, then maybe you can be the “banker and accountant” in the family. Your husband can still help with major financial decisions, but it would be a together plan, not just him spending whatever he wants.
Both of you should have some kind of personal spending allowance each month, that you stick too. That’s the way my husband and I do it and he’s the accountant.
Can a large portion of his paycheck be direct-deposited into an account strictly just for household needed expenses? I’m wondering if he thinks that filing bankruptcy last year wasn’t a big deal. If he continues to spend the way he does, your family is heading down the same road again.
Let me know if I can help in anyway. I used to be an impulsive spender myself. The thing is I always had very GREAT justifications for everything I “needed”, because I grew up that way. It’s SO much better to be free of that thinking. I know he can’t see it, but living a life with financial planning is so much more free and happy. It’s really not a trap or box to be squeezed into. I know him better than you think.